Failure. Even the word itself can be terrifying. It carries a weight that presses down on your chest, a reminder of expectations unmet, dreams unfulfilled, and the possibility of disappointment. For as long as I can remember, I’ve struggled with the fear of failure. I’ve let it dictate my decisions, hold me back from opportunities, and trap me in a cycle of perfectionism that has done more harm than good.
But I’m learning. Slowly, I’m working through these fears, reshaping my mindset, and discovering that failure is not the end—it’s part of the journey through the vast cosmos of growth. And along the way, I’ve found invaluable insights from Dr. K (HealthyGamerGG) that have helped me navigate this process. In this blog, I want to share my story, the struggles I’ve faced, the lessons I’ve learned, and practical steps I’m taking to overcome the fear of failure and perfectionism.
Understanding the Fear of Failure
The fear of failure isn’t just about messing up—it’s about what failure represents. It’s about the belief that failure means I’m not good enough, that I’ve wasted my time, that I’ll never succeed.
For a long time, I avoided things that had even the smallest chance of failure. I hesitated to share my artwork, fearing it wouldn’t be good enough. I delayed starting projects because I felt I wasn’t ready. I told myself, “If I can’t do it perfectly, why do it at all?”
Dr. K explains that this fear often stems from anxiety and self-worth being tied to achievement. Society, school, and even childhood experiences can reinforce the idea that failing is unacceptable. The pressure to succeed becomes so overwhelming that the brain chooses inaction over the risk of failure. It’s not laziness—it’s self-preservation, a protective shield in the black void of uncertainty.
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Perfectionism: The Silent Black Hole
Perfectionism might seem like a good thing. After all, striving for excellence isn’t inherently bad. But when perfectionism becomes an obsession, it becomes a cage, like a gravitational pull that keeps you stuck in orbit, never reaching new heights. It keeps you trapped in an endless loop of self-criticism, overthinking, and procrastination.
Some common perfectionist thoughts I’ve struggled with:
- “If it’s not perfect, it’s worthless.”
- “I need more time to prepare before I start.”
- “I can’t show this to anyone yet—it’s not good enough.”
- “Other people do it better, so why bother?”
Dr. K describes perfectionism as a form of self-punishment. Instead of allowing ourselves to launch into new experiences, we create impossible standards that keep us floating in the same space, never venturing beyond our comfort zone. And worst of all? It prevents us from even trying.
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How I’m Overcoming These Fears
Recognizing the problem was the first step. But actually working through it? That’s been the real challenge. Here are some things I’m actively doing to break free from perfectionism and fear of failure:
1. Reframing Failure as a Learning Experience
One of the biggest mindset shifts I’ve made is seeing failure as feedback, not judgment.
Dr. K talks about how failure is data—it gives us valuable information on what works and what doesn’t. Instead of thinking, “I failed, therefore I’m bad,” I try to think, “I failed, therefore I learned.”
For example, when I struggle with a new art technique, instead of feeling discouraged, I remind myself:
- What specifically didn’t work?
- What can I change next time?
- How much closer am I to mastering this skill?
This shift helps me see progress, even in mistakes. Like an astronaut exploring the unknown, every misstep brings me closer to new discoveries.
2. Allowing Myself to Make “Bad” Work
A big part of overcoming perfectionism is giving myself permission to create imperfect things. Dr. K emphasizes the importance of practice over perfection—the more I create, the better I’ll get.
So I’ve started:
- Posting art even when I feel it’s not my best.
- Writing without overthinking every single word.
- Experimenting with new things just for fun, without pressure.
And you know what? Nothing bad happens when I do. The world doesn’t collapse like a dying star. People don’t criticize me the way I thought they would. In fact, I find that people appreciate raw, genuine efforts more than perfectly polished work.
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3. Setting “Good Enough” Goals
Instead of aiming for perfection, I now focus on achievable goals that allow for progress, not just success.
For example:
- Instead of “I must master this skill,” I say, “I’ll practice this skill for 30 minutes today.”
- Instead of “I need the perfect blog post,” I say, “I just need to express my thoughts clearly.”
By setting goals that focus on effort rather than outcome, I reduce the pressure I put on myself. I allow myself to drift through space without the weight of expectation crushing me.
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4. Practicing Self-Compassion
Dr. K talks a lot about self-compassion—the ability to treat yourself with kindness, even when you fail. I used to be my worst critic, but now I try to talk to myself like I would talk to a friend.
Would I tell a friend, “You’re worthless because you made a mistake”? No. So why say it to myself?
When I mess up, I remind myself:
- “Everyone makes mistakes. It doesn’t define me.”
- “I am still learning, and that’s okay.”
- “Progress is more important than perfection.”
5. Taking Action Despite Fear
Fear doesn’t go away overnight. But the key is to take action anyway.
Dr. K often says that motivation doesn’t come first—action does. If I wait until I feel 100% ready, I’ll never start. So I push myself to take small steps:
- I start the sketch even if I don’t know how it’ll turn out.
- I write a paragraph even if it’s messy.
- I publish a blog post even if I feel nervous about it.
The more I take action, the less power fear has over me. Like a spaceship breaking free from gravitational pull, every step forward takes me closer to new horizons.
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Final Thoughts: Growth Over Perfection
I won’t pretend that I’ve completely overcome my fear of failure or my perfectionist tendencies. It’s a process. Some days, I still struggle. Some days, the self-doubt creeps in. But the difference now is that I don’t let it stop me.
Instead of being afraid of failure, I choose to embrace growth. Instead of being trapped by perfectionism, I choose to create freely, to explore, to take the leap into the unknown like a cosmic adventurer. And I encourage you to do the same.
If you struggle with these fears, know that you’re not alone. But also know that it’s possible to move forward, one imperfect step at a time, across the infinite universe of possibilities. And in the end, that’s what truly matters.
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Thank you for reading till here... 💜
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