˚ ✦ . . 🪐 ˚ . . ✦ . ˚ 🌒 . ✦ 🌍
. ˚ * ✦ . . ✦ ˚ ˚ . *
How do you handle stress and anxiety?
A difficult question, no doubt—and it's funny that I hadn’t had time to think about it until just now, after taking an exam at university. I can finally sit down and write more calmly on my blog.
I can give an example of something that stresses me out: wanting to do this daily, and knowing that there will be days when I simply won’t be able to write on time, or that sometimes I just don’t have the energy to do it.
I believe handling stress and handling anxiety are two different things. I can deal with stress relatively well, but anxiety is definitely more of a problem for me.
I had an exam yesterday, and all of my worries were probably caused by anxiety. Taking an exam after years without doing so, not knowing what I would face, if I had studied enough, if I was capable of answering… what would I do if I failed? What if I couldn’t answer something properly? Would I get there on time?
Yesterday was pure chaos. There was a public transport strike, the subways—or subtes, as we call them here—weren’t running. So I had to take the bus. That wouldn’t have been a problem, since—thanks to my anxiety—I planned ahead and left half an hour earlier than usual… and still almost didn’t make it in time for the exam on scientific thinking.
I ran under the sun for several blocks after getting off the bus, unsure of where my classroom was, phone in hand and ready to sprint to find it before the exam began. There was a security guard at the university entrance, guiding hundreds of students, one by one, to their classrooms. Mine was 209.
Being guided made it easier to clumsily climb two flights of stairs, though I had to stop there, faced with a long line of students slowly entering the classroom. That’s when I learned that even arriving on time, I’d still have to wait—because we had to show our IDs. So for the next exam, I might allow myself the luxury of not running up marble stairs.
Anxiety often prepares us for things—it used to help humans detect threats and stay alert. It’s an instinct.
Is it correct to call it an emotion? Absolutely. It prevents certain situations and isn’t an enemy we have to defeat. Anxiety, like other emotions, is there to help.
But when it’s out of control, it can lead to overload—to stress itself—where even if you planned for everything, if one thing goes wrong, everything goes down the drain.
I think the way I handle it is by slowly realizing that not everything is a threat, and the world isn’t 100% hostile where everything is bound to go wrong.
Asking myself, “What’s the best that could happen?” feels almost strange for someone like me with anxiety. I usually think—all too naturally—of every worst-case scenario, unfiltered.
Managing anxiety and stress takes time, patience, contrasting negative thoughts with positive ones, and most importantly: compassion.
You can’t cure your anxiety by hating yourself. And I learned that the hard way. The worse I talk to myself, the worse my emotions like anxiety, stress—even depression—react.
It’s a whole exercise, and while I can’t control what’s around me, I can control my own anxiety.
And I know I’m not the only one.
Breathing exercises, speaking to myself calmly, taking care of myself, and even learning when to slow down the intense pace I’ve been keeping—all of that helps me manage my anxiety, which then reduces my stress levels too.
If instead of studying for an exam, I spend that time worrying about it, I’m just worrying—not doing. Not taking action leads to more anxiety, and more anxiety leads to more stress.
It sounds stupid to say, “Worry less.” So I’ll suggest something else:
Your attention is valuable. Your time is valuable. Not in the sense of “I’m wasting it” or “I’m using it wrong.”
You don’t always have to do everything in the most efficient or perfect way for it to be okay.
I managed to make it to the exam, even if my watch said I was late. I did well on it, despite my fears of failing. And once I left, going home was a huge relief.
The way I focused my attention during the exam went like this:
Instead of worrying “Oh no, I’ll fail if I don’t know this answer,” I told myself, “Okay, I studied this—I think I can remember.”
And that shifted my attention to something else, lowering my anxiety and allowing me to answer the questions.
I recommend that whenever something worries you, notice how your attention is drawn to it. How much of it can you actually control, and how much can’t you?
Can I control arriving perfectly on time to the exam? Maybe yes, maybe no. I can try to leave early, sure, but other external factors—like a transport strike—might interfere, and it’s not my fault. I can’t get mad at myself for that. Instead, I can look for alternatives in the moment.
What’s the best that could happen if we let go of that tight control, and allow ourselves to fail a little?
✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: :･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: *:･ﾟ✧
Thank you for reading till here… 💜
Comments
Post a Comment